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In Excelsis Moria

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Yep, it's more Naughty List. I should have planned this in advance, put nothing but the most glorious miniatures on the list, albeit in large numbers or something to make them appear worse. Only then they'd have all turned into something dreadful, like first edition Blood Bowl Linemen.




More Massive Darkness Goblins! The other stack of eight, this time in a reversed colour scheme, so yellow kilts and black hats.


And I have nothing else to say about them! So straight on to what will doubtless be more fruit from the naughty tree. I have my doubts about this St. Nick, I think he may be playing some kind of home rules.

Roasting On An Open Fyreslayer

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I didn't think I'd stack the deck in favour of The Silver Tower, but along comes another model from Santa (the fifth one in eleven draws).

Fyreslayer Doomseeker for Warhammer Quest: Silver Tower

At least it's a single model, so let's stoke up the fire (fyre)!


Like his buddy, the Tenebreal Shard, I'd deliberately held off painting the Fyreslayer Doomseeker too.

It wasn't the complexity of the model - I've painted enough dwarves and, like all of them, this one is all beard and axes - but the Fyreslayer range is one of the few Age of Sigmar releases that I can't get on board with.

To me, it just seems like the Troll Slayer aesthetic (which I love) has been ramped up to the point where all individuality gets erased. If I painted up a unit of the Fyreslayers (don't look at me like that, Start Collecting), I think I'd struggle to pick the out leaders from the warriors. Even the Stormcast get across more personality than that.

Fyreslayer Doomseeker for Warhammer Quest: Silver Tower

The other thing that bothered me was the colour scheme: pale flesh, gold armour and orange hair is going to blend into each other like a jar of marmalade.

So, in a rare moment of inspiration, I went my own way: properly fiery beards and charcoal-dark skin, as if the duardin were burning up and spewing lava.

Fyreslayer Doomseeker for Warhammer Quest: Silver Tower

Recipe as follows:

  • Skin: Charcoal Grey (Vallejo), Nuln Oil wash, Dawnstone highlights
  • Beard/Crest: Averland Sunset base, Cassandora Yellow wash, White Scar+Yriel Yellow layers, Fuegan Orange tips
  • Eyes: Mephiston Red
  • Gold Runes: Retibutor Armour base, Reikland Fleshshade wash
  • Weapons: Leadbelcher base, Drakenhof Nightshade wash, Ironbreaker drybrush
  • Weapon features: Incubi Darkness base, Sotek Green highlight + Soulstone Red


In the fluff, I think his Runic War-Iron (that pick-thing) is meant to light up, so he can quest in dark places. But I didn't want to distract from the lighting I'd done on the hair, so I gave it a lick of Soulstone Red, with Celestra Grey edging, to make it seem special.

Fyreslayer Doomseeker for Warhammer Quest: Silver Tower

And that's him done! I'm very happy with this style and, while I was bewailing having to paint an army of these, I wouldn't mind doing a couple more (maybe a Shadespire set...)

Onto my next challenge - another from the Nice List! Santa must know I'm pushed for time.

Sing, Choirs of Blood Angels

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Who needs repainting? We've got eyes and weapon markings already!

Okay, this is starting to feel personal. I don't know when I tabled Santa (although he plays Ynnari, so he clearly deserved it), but he's just hitting and hitting with the Naughty List now.


Quite at what point I decided to put this squad of original plastic Space Hulk Terminators on the list, I don't now recall. The spirit of self-flagellation was clearly hard upon me at the time. Here they are, having of course turned up on the random roll.

There was an intention of finishing my Space Hulk collection, now I think about it. Getting the Genestealers done was always the big blocker, but now they number amongst the Painted, slapping a coat on the last unpainted squad I had was probably just a matter of time.


I have three in total, the ten you got with the first box and another seven from expansions and, er, not sure, really. These five had never seen a lick of paint, they were in their original dark blue plastic still. Showing up their Blood Angel and Ultramarine cousins really badly, too. The Librarian is a repaint, I should declare, one my brother did in pretty good Blood Angels slap, which I've just updated with gems and blue bits.

They're Blood Angels, what with them being flavour of the week and getting a new Codex. Also because the first campaign in Space Hulk was originally Blood Angelic, so it's historical.


So let's consider these models for a moment, okay, before we unlease the predicable bile on them. Yes, they are clearly ghastly models. But let us not forget that without them, we wouldn't have Terminators in their modern, multi-part, dynamically-posed form. These guys took the hit for their children.

This guy was actually a separate result on the List, I realised later! Oops. So that will cost me another 2 CPs to add him to this haul, but worth it to get him done all the same. 

The helmet is actually all there, that slightly bulldog look. And the power fist looks fine, even if its dangling derpily to one side. Even the two-headed Imperial eagle isn't bad moulding, really, just a little crude compared to modern stuff. I think it's the big 80s shoulder pads that really ruin the model, giving it that brain-damaged easter egg look. Lucky they didn't have pop socks and parachute pants, really.


The sergeant has still got, incredibly, his original banner pole! Another design flaw, the rest are long long gone. And this one isn't long for this world, it's already loose. Putting an actual banner on it was a step too far for this Advent, though. Maybe next year.

Painting Guide:


  • Red - Mephiston Red basecoat, Agrax Earthshade, Evil Suns and Wild Rider layers
  • Blue - Guilliman Blue, Drakenhof Nightshade, Altdorf Guard Blue and Lothern Blue layers
  • Gold - Balthasar Gold, Agrax, Gehenna's Gold and Auric Armour Gold layers
  • Yellow - Averland Sunset, Agrax, Hexos Palesun drybrush
  • Eyes and Gems - Black, Warpstone Glow, Moot Green, Nurgling Green, White Scar
  • Guns - Leadbelcher, Nuln Oil, Stormhost Silver
  • Blood Angels Emblem - Outline done in Black, gem with Khorne Red and Wazdakka Red (the Sarge got a green blood drop done with the same colours as the gems), Wings in Pallid Wychflesh, Gehenna's Gold trim, White Scar dot
  • Crux Terminatus - Why on earth did I freehand these, what was I thinking? Black outline, Eshin Grey, Dawnstone and Ulthuan Grey for the cross, Steel Legion Drab, Ushabti Bone and Pallid Wychflesh for the Skull, Gehenna's Gold for the Sergeant's stripe



Come on, dice. Nice List, Nice List, Nice List, Nice List...

Leopold-Print Cloak

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Another roll on the Nice List, and it takes us back to the very beginning, my Dogs of War army!

Leopoldo di Lucci from Leopold's Leopard Company, Dogs of War for Warhammer Fantasy Battle

Let's find out what's new, pussycat!

I have a soft spot for my human army. When this blog started, I picked my Dogs of War to be the first models I spruced up into battle-readiness, since they were the smallest army and would be sorted out the quickest.

I hadn't counted on my glacial speed of painting, and considerable ability to get distracted, which meant that, while my other three fantasy armies lie in various states of readiness, the Empire were battle-ready for a long time, and so I played more games with them than any other army.

But one thing that bothered me was my general, Lorenzo Lupo. Even by the polyglot standards of my army, his Roman Centurion look was hopelessly anachronistic, and I wanted a commander who was more 'early modern' in his appearance.

Step forward Leopoldo di Lucci, captain of the Leopard Company in plate armour, animal skin and pistol - perfect!

Leopoldo di Lucci from Leopold's Leopard Company, Dogs of War for Warhammer Fantasy Battle
Why couldn't he have led the Panther Company?

In the past, I've struggled with leopard fur (which is the reason the Alcatani Fellowship comprise my pikemen, rather than the Leopard Company), but this turned out quite well with Zamesi Desert, Seraphim Sepia and a brush of Zandri Dust.

Almost a shame I can't give him a whole regiment to lead, but the old models are on eBay for back-breaking prices, so I'll just wait until GW bring out their 'Warhammer Classic' range of recasts.

And so Leopoldo deposes Lorenzo as mercenary general (which is ironic, since the exact opposite happens in the fluff).

Leopoldo di Lucci from Leopold's Leopard Company, Dogs of War for Warhammer Fantasy Battle

This was nice model to revisit and spend a couple of hours painting up. In fact, that would have made the Advent Challenge quite a pleasant stroll, until some maniac (myself) dreamed up the whole Naughty List idea which turned it into a painting frenzy.

And on that note, my final roll was on the Naughty List (serves me right). So I have a whole unit to paint and not a lot of time to do it... unless I spend my preciously-hoarded command points and choose an easy one. Dare I risk it?

See you on Christmas Eve for my final installment!

O Nager Night

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The original little donkey

Santa, you bastard. Whatever idiot put these tiny catapults on my Naughty list has only themselves to blame.



They could have been worse, I guess? They didn't actually take that long to do, just a spray of Mournfang Brown, a wash of Nuln Oil, a drybrush of Sylvaneth Bark and then the fiddly details like wheels and ammo. About two hours total, I'd reckon.

Man, this made me really appreciate why Epic 40K never really caught on. I mean, shame, because it was one of the better game systems, but painting legions of these tiny, fiddly buggers? No thanks. 

While I was taking them out of their box (their poor, unopened box, which has sat in the cupboard since the last time I opened it), I discovered there was a clutch of unpainted Picts and Saxons. Unwilling as I was to actually tackle the catapults, I suddenly found a burst of enthusiasm for finishing the entire set off, so out they came.

Three of each. There's a grumpy Pict sculpt with a very odd-looking knife...


...and a stock Viking, wielding a traditional golf putter.


But because I'm easily bored, and because I've always meant to do a Christmas Model, I did the last one to look like Santa.

Ho-Ho-Ho-din

That's my Twelve Tasks of Christmas complete! And I make it a running total of 11 Command Points earned - three starting, twelve for the posts all going up on time, minus 4 for Strategems allowing me to do both Ruins at once and cover the accidental Librarian paintjob.

Beat that, Stylus! And have a merry Yuletide, one and all!

Get On The Ready Line!

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Dear Mum,

I am having a lovely time in the Imperial Guard, and have now joined my company. I have also been given my very own uniform, a nutri-ration pack (2 days’ worth, a feast!) and a four-volume copy of the Regimental Regulations.

Astra Militarum infantry for Warhammer 40,000 with female head from Statuesque Miniatures

Candlemass is coming!

I don’t have a lasgun yet, because the Munitorium supplies haven't reached the front line, but Sergeant Mardy told me that after the next battle there’ll be plenty of gear going spare, which is very good news.

Astra Militarum infantry sergeant for Warhammer 40,000

I have been assigned to 2nd Company, 1st Battalion, 8th Regiment of the 78th Silurians. I have also learned that our world is named Siluria, and not Bitumin-Hive #17, as we always thought. To be part of such an elite fighting force, containing of little more than five million warriors, is a great honour and I hope I don’t let the squad down.


We are celebrating Candlemass in our regiment (is it also Candlemass back at home?). On Candlemass Eve, as a treat, we were issued an extra spoonful of glucose in our morning recaff ration and we all sang O Burn, All Ye Unfaithful. We also heard the enemy singing in the opposite entrenchments, until our Commissar ordered a burst from the promethium sprayers to drown out their heretical chanting.

Astra Militarum flamer for Warhammer 40,000 with female head from Statuesque Miniatures

Later in the day, we left our trenches, and the enemy left their trenches to meet us. This was because our heavy batteries were mistakenly shelling both positions, and no-mans’ land was the safest place to stand. It was cold out in the open, but the impromptu bayonet drill kept us all warm.

Astra Militarum vox-caster for Warhammer 40,000

Some small fluffy crystals of ice have been falling from the sky upon our heads. An evil scheme, we are told, by one the heretics' witches. Our Ministorum Priest ordered us to use the frozen material to construct effigies of our beloved God-Emperor to ward off the evil. One of our platoon used his taproot ration for its nose, and was immediately and rightfully executed for both heresy and wasting food.

Astra Militarum infantry squad for Warhammer 40,000

I hope that my correspondence-comm finds you well. I have tried to write quickly, so you will have time to read this during your allotted 3-minute break, as I wouldn’t want you to wait another 16 hours before finishing it.

Astra Militarum infantry squad for Warhammer 40,000

Merry Candlemass, and Emperor Save Mankind,

Jones 764388

Christmas Bonus

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A score of tiny catapults would have been no way to leave the Advent Challenge, really. So I kept on going.



Completionists rejoice! For here is the rest of the Naughty and Nice list. No actual points towards the resolution of the challenge, of course, but it all needed doing anyway. So once I'd finished the stuff as I rolled it, I badgered on through to the bitter end.


Nine rolls on the Naughty List compared to three on Nice, that's what I got overall. Finishing the rest of these models was therefore a speedy joy, with the possible exceptions of the pillars and the Slaughterbrute.


Pillars because, well, they're pillars. Who likes painting pillars? Pillocks, that's who.

None of them even have the grace to look properly finished. Too drybrushy, really, they need a final layer. But they can't have one, they're bloody pillars. 

And the Slaughterbrute mostly because I don't like the model very much (it's a very poor second compared to the other model the kit makes, the splendidly tentacled Mutalith Vortex Beast), but also because I just couldn't get a good paint scheme going for ages.

Half-salmon, half-crab. Definitely not GW's finest Large Monster, I'd say, just a bit busy with the spikes.

Nothing I tried looked quite right, so I kept having to go over bits and tweak with washes, and I got hella tired of the plethora of teeth, spikes and mutant bone that makes up the bulk of the creature.

I do quite like the back, with the sacrificial swords, but they're horribly fragile for such a big and lopsided monster. He kept rolling, and the inevitable happened - some snapped off and needed replacing. 

All gravy after that, which I hope you are all currently enjoying on your turkey. I'm all bloated after feasting at the Julbord all day yesterday, so I'll leave you to peruse the rest of these in peace as I go and pick the carcasses of the chocolate boxes clean like the diabetic vulture I am.

Merry Christmas!

Brother Captain Stern of the Grey Knights, here seen in his original paint job from fifteen years or so ago.

And here he is after a shower and a shave. As with Typhus, not much to do, just a bit of washing and sharpening.
Crypt Angel Disc Riding Sorcerer Librarian on Imperially Approved Hover Board

This is the third and final Crypt Angel Librarian, chanting In Dulce Jubilo

Cypher has also joined the Crypt Angels, entirely incognito
Grand Master Voldus is instead an Inquisitor, attached to the Crypt Angels to deliver a verdict on their damnation. Or possibly to cause it, hard to say with inquisitors.

Massive Darkness again - Goblin Agent
Bosses for the Goblin Swordsmen

Giant Spider - lovely model, but the base is a bit too bare. Even with this improvised victim (tissue paper, cotton thread and two old plastic space ork arms), it empty. 
So I stuck a Reaper stalagmite on it, which helped. He'll carry you, Mr. Frodo.
Graz and Prug here are an Ettin. My daughter did all the basecoats for this, extremely neatly, so it's her colour scheme I have highlighted up.
Here's his back. It's quite strappy.
This is my personal favourite of the whole lot - the Hellephant!
If Conan met one of these up a tower, even he would flee.

Wagner's Pimp My Ride

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Reckon I can just about squeeze out a final army before New Year, if I don't hang about.



My poor old Inquisitors are a bit outdated these days. Old (if splendid) models, no troops choices for their army and the faint heretical whiff that they aren't going to get a new Codex. A while back, I had a squad of the old lead Stormtroopers, but they went along with my entire Guard troop (a Basilisk, a Chimera, three heavy weapons teams, some snipers and twenty guardsmen) after I moved house.


Time to replenish the ranks! While the rest of the team is still on the painting table, their heavy transport option has made it out of the gate in advance.


Not quite sure why I fell so heavily in favour of the Valkyrie. It's a good-looking airbus, sure enough. It has two souped-up gunny versions, the Vulture and the Vendetta, both of which could outshoot it with minimal effort, but it's not the guns you're taking it for, it's the carrying!


Fast - tick. Tough - tick. Able to provide a reasonable amount of fire support - tick, albeit cautiously because it's not terribly accurate. The big bonus is being able to stick a decent size squad (or squad and commanders) in it and whisk them to where they're needed with a pretty high chance of making it there.


Anyway, this one is white, because it's carrying Stormtroopers. Not Tempestus Scions, that's not perhaps the finest bit of IP Protection Naming I've ever seen deployed. No, that honour clearly goes to the non-orc Orruks. But my guys are going to be Stormtroopers, and unimaginative Sci-fi Nerd that I am, Stormtroopers should really only be one colour. Even if that magically cancels out their supposedly deadly shooting abilities and turns them into idiotic cannon fodder.

You can't really see them because I'm hopeless at photography, but they are previewing the colour scheme for the other troopers.

When I mentioned I'd got one to Stylus, he suggested doing WWII-style art on the side. So I did.

Imperial Ingrid! 

Image result for female commissar 40k
This is copied from a Deviant Art piece by Rotaken, shown here. My rendition is rather butch, somehow, but then I guess most Commissars aren't really the pin up sort exactly. 

Sadly, I didn't quite check where the weapon fittings would lie before committing this to paint.

D'oh.

Not to worry - seeing as I'd left them loose, all the better to swap as needed, a bit of twiddling about with a file and pincers let me sink the guns much further back in the socket, and the problem is mostly fixed.

Still a bit of overlap. The angle helps, or course, but it's a big improvement. This lascannon is the longer of the two, and it's only just clipping her bun now.

Under the wings, I can stick rocket launchers or massive missiles. And the fuselage doors slide open to deploy heavy bolter gunners at will (points allowing). I'm also very glad I spent the extra day painting the interior, because you can really see it well in these shots.


It's not glued to the base, which may well mean crashes at some point in the future, but it makes it much easier to store and carry. Although that front pylon is not long for this world, I suspect.


Painting Guide:

  • White - Corax White basecoat all over, then heavy Nuln Oil wash. Celestra Grey drybrushed heavily over that, then a bit of Agrax wash on the bottom third or so, for a dirty look, before two to three thin layers of White Scar. Eshin Grey on a sponge stippled on for weathering
  • Black - Black, a bit of Eshin Grey and Ulthuan Grey layering
  • Silver - Leadbelcher, Agrax, Stormcast Silver
  • Wing Stripe - Goblin Green, applied with the help of masking tape
  • Red - Khorne Red, Carroberg Crimson splash, a bit of Evil Sunz Scarlet on the top
  • Cockpit - All sorts. And I didn't screw up the canopy this time! Although it's nerve-wracking to paint, the struts are part of the same transparent piece as the windows
  • Imperial Ingrid - took just under an hour of intense concentration, starting with a plain black silhouette and working with layers up on the various bits with the picture to hand as a guide. Easier than I hoped, but also not as perfect a copy. Never mind! It's an inch high, what do you expect?



Right! Better crack on, there's another twenty five models to get through before the weekend.




EXT: Secondary Generator

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Much as I like the pack of scenic Objectives for 40K that GW do, I'm broke after Christmas. So it's time to Blue Peter my way through a set of six!



This is a small back-up generator such as might provide power to a small scientific outpost on a remote deathworld engaged in heretical research. On Jewish New Year. In the rain. Got to be specific, you know?


It's scratch built from a slottabase on top of four bits of card, two halves of a plastic fruit wrap container and some plastic odds and ends from various other kits (Imperial Ruins and a Space Marine flyer, I think), and it's painted with big obvious number sixes on it to keep it obvious which objective it is.

I am not a number! I'm a free man!

More to come!

Thrope Floats

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Still working on the Stormtroopers, don't worry. Here's some filler in the meantime.

Venomthrope kits also make Zoonanthropes. They share a torso and tail, but the heads are different, so I've got spare bits around. My bits box luckily contained the ancient lead torso of an original Tyranid Warrior, so I slapped some of the new plastic on it.


Until I pick up some more a) of the right size bases and b) courage, I'm not attempting a full unit of these floaty brain bugs. Starting with the single leader type, the Neurothrope, seemed like the way forward. By sticking some spare arms into the sockets, and adding a spare pair of Xenomorph arms that were left over from the AVP stuff in the summer, I've got a perfectly decent and reasonably cheap HQ choice to add to the Tyranid list.


Painting Guide:


  • As per previous Afanc Tyranids except for the brain
  • Brain - Rakarth Flesh, Carroberg Crimson and Drakenhof Nightshade washes, Ulthuan Grey layer, 'Ardcoat and BftBG on the veins


A quick watermelon paintjob, and it's ready to burst heads! Now back to the Stormtroopers.


Lead and Taxes - Year in Review

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Nearly lights out for 2017. Funny, the great Depression back in the 1920s and 30s gave the world superhero comics and weird pulp fiction, possibly because people wanted to shut out the awfulness of the world at the time. Have Trump et al a hand in the current continuation of the Gaming Silver Age?

Image result for great depression comics
Short answer - No. They have no hands in anything good.


What did the year bring us?

Return of the King


Image result for 40K

40K is back, and I'm loving it. The streamlining of the new edition really helped me back in, as did the initial feeling of balance between factions. All the codexes and rules errata have muddied that initially clear water a bit, maybe, but I'm back in after a ten year Grimdark absence, and I can't wait to play more of it.

Tyranids and Inquisitors/Scions are going to be my army picks. There looks to be a good chance that the Inquisitors aren't going to get their own codex, which would be a shame, although at least it keeps me from trying to buy any more new stuff.

Image result for kickstarter



So many Kickstarters that I didn't touch this year. Mdf scenery, elaborate board games, fancy dice, but I stayed strong! No, my leadpile has grown by very conservative amounts on the whole, although the arrival of Massive Darkness definitely left me behind in terms of painting. I'm also amazed I didn't cave in for Necromunda, that was always one of my favourites back in the day. Give it time. Once the Delaque come back, I'll probably weaken.


Image result for total warhammer 2

Computer games are still keeping me up at nights. Total Warhammer II came out this year, and my big bonus nerd points come from having voiced some of the Skaven for them! Playing as the High Elves, I found I particularly enjoyed battles against the ratmen, as I could hear myself screaming in pain from dozens of ratty throats as the Lothern Seaguard massacred clanrat battalions from afar. Another lifetime ambition to check off - acting work (indirectly) for GW. Whoop whoop!

Right, enough laurel resting. Time to do the taxes.


Image result for lead taxes

Looking back, I see that I foolishly decided I would try and have Massive Darkness finished by the end of this year. It got a bit delayed in the end, only arriving at the end of August, so that proved to be hopelessly optimisitic. Not that I haven't made some inroads into it, mind, but I got sidetracked.

I did finish Dungeon Saga off, though, and it now languishes proudly in boxes in the cupboard. Massive Darkness will get there in time, no doubt, but the Stormtroopers and Genestealers took over the end of my year.

But did I get out of the red?

Image result for pile of tiny models
My lead pile seen from space

Let's save the boring maths lists for way down the bottom of the page, so scroll away if you really want to read the full tally. In short, and I'm surprised here despite a ridiculously productive year (in painting terms, anyway).

Grand Total Painted - 731
Of Which Owned - 277
Net Lead Gain - 50


Take that, Lead Pile! Much better than I anticipated, basically. Although I really have painted a lot more than I realised this year. Like, roughly two models a day. Where did I find time to anything else? Who is raising my children?

Image result for grandfather nurgle
The agency called. I was all that was available at short notice. 


And in that paint storm, I would like to take credit for three small but complete 40K armies (Eldar, Scions and Imperial Knights), four complete box set board games (Dungeon Saga, although I started that last year, Aliens vs Predator, the tail end of Shadows Over Camelot and the long awaited Space Hulk, which I got when I was thirteen) and what could feasibly amount to two tables' worth of terrain. And apart from Massive Darkness, everything I bought got painted bar a single (quite big) model. That'll do, pig, that'll do.

In fairness, I went through several periods of relative unemployment during the year, and rather than my usual hour-to-an-hour-a-half a night, I found I was often sitting for a couple of weeks, doing two or three hours in the morning as well. It is quite possible I might be president of the United States if I spent this time bending my will to greater and more worthy tasks, despite being a Sweden-dwelling Brit. To my credit, by sitting about on my arse painting Genestealers I am at least making a better job of it than the present incumbent.

Image result for genestealer patriarch in trump wig
Swap the whispering advisor for Big Oil and slap a toupee on the Patriarch, and we're there. I give it ten years before an actual Hive Fleet turns up in Earth orbit.

Excelsior! For the year ahead, I shall once more pledge to finish Massive Darkness. And I shall also pledge to try and do less commission work, I'm afraid, because then I might actually clear my lead pile by the end of next year. 

But first, let us bend our minds to the incoming Swoffboot...

Image result for swoffboot
Fun Fact! Type Swoffboot into Google and a bunch of pics from our blog show up! Er, which isn't really that surprising if you think about it, not sure the word means anything to anyone else. 









Acquisitions


Redbox Games Northern Warband - 11 Models
Massive Darkness - 183 Models (if I've counted right)
2 x Taurox Primes
2 x Commissars
20 x Tempestus Scions
1 x Valkyrie
3 x Venomthropes
1 x Neurothrope (converted)
2 x Baleful Realmgates
1 x New Slambo
1 x Tyrannofex

Total - 227


Painted


Terrain


2 x Ophidian Archways (one winter, one summer)
1 x Numinous Occulum
6 x Dungeon Saga doors
2 x Baleful Realmgates
1 x Treasure Chest (Dungeon Saga)
150 x 40K Industrial Sector bits and bobs, although I'm including bits of pipe and wire in here. Give me a break! Three Imperial Knights are being counted as three models further down the list, not the shoebox of components they really were!
15 x Massive Darkness Doors
16 x Massive Darkness Chests
2 x Massive Darkness Chests
6 x Massive Darkness Pillars (o god why)
1 x Massive Frozen Tower
2 x Sector Imperialis Ruins


Total - 214


40K

22 x Renegade Marines
1 x Renegade Marine Sorcerer
11 x Renegade Scouts
7 x servo skulls
3 x Teleport Homers
1 x CAT
1 x Goblet
1 x Jokaero Weaponsmith
1 x Watcher in the Dark
30 x Eldar Guardians
3 x Eldar Weapon Grav Platforms
20 x Kabalite Raiders
6 x Fire Dragons
6 x Swooping Hawks
6 x Dark Reapers
6 x Warp Spiders
6 x Striking Scorpions
6 x Howling Banshees
3 x Eldar Warlocks
1 x Death Jester
1 x Autarch
1 x Autarch on jetbike
1 x Farseer
10 x Harlequins
1 x Solitaire
1 x Shadowseer
1 x Jester on Jetboard
1 x Necron Warrior
1 x Squat
1 x Crypt Angel Renegade
3 x Imperial Knights
1 x Advanced Space Crusade Scout
10 x Crypt Angel Scouts
1 x Drop Pod
3 x Centurions
1 x Genestealer Hybrid (old school)
8 x Genestealers (Genestealer Cult Version)
5 x Genestealer Hybrid Acolytes
15 x Genestealer Hybrid Neophytes
1 x Barracuda
2 x Remora Heavy Drones
2 x Darklight Drones
1 x Shielded Missile Drone
2 x Skyweavers
1 x Voidweaver
1 x Land Speeder Storm
5 x Scout Crew for said Land Speeder Storm
11 x Ork Boyz
4 x XV 89 Crisis Suits
40 x Genestealers (Tyranid Version)
3 x Venomthropes
1 x Neurothrope
3 x Crypt Angel Sorcerer Librarians
1 x Cypher
1 x Grand Master Voldus
1 x Crypt Angel Terminator Librarian
1 x Brother Captain Stern
1 x Typhus
5 x Space Hulk Terminators
1 x Space Hulk Terminator Librarian
2 x Large T'au Walker thingies
1 x Valkyrie
<20 x Tempestus Scions, 2 x Commissars, 1 x Servitor, 2 x Taurox Primes, painting ongoing but in the reckoning here anyway because I was feeling kind to myself>

Total - 294 (+25)


Fantasy

9 x Skeletons
6 x Zombies
2 x Zombie Trolls
1 x Zombie Troll Shaman
1 x Blaine
1 x Mortibris
8 x Goblins (various)
4 x Orcling bases
4 x Mawbeasts
12 x Orcs (various)
1 x Orc Warlord
1 x Ba'el
4 x Trolls
Salamander Hero
Dryad hero
Dwarf hero
Paladin hero
Halfling Thief hero
Elf Archer Hero
Valendor
Valendor (converted Chaos Warrior Version)
Reaper Sahaugin
2 x Reaper Elven Heroes
Reaper beetle
Reaper Thug
1 x New Slambo
1 x Glottkin
11 x Frostgrave Warband Minions
1 x Maggoth
3 x Maggoth Riders
6 x Marauder Goblins
4 x lead Reaper Goblins
1 x Wardancer
1 x Chaos Lord on Manticore
1 x Archaon, Lord of the End Times
5 x Skullreapers/Wrathmongers
2 x Frogmen
2 x Tortoisemen
1 x Basilisk
8 x Assorted Massive Darkness Heroes
1 x Unicorn
1 x Hellhound
1 x Marauder Troll
1 x Ettin
1 x Fomorian
1 x Giant Spider
1 x Hellephant
19 x Massive Darkness Goblins (Various)
1 x Reaper Giant Demon Maggot
1 x Slaughterbrute

Total - 153


Misc

Reaper Indiana Jones-a-like
Reaper Sci-fi Trooper
Reaper Houngan
2 x Reaper Steampunk Scientists
10 x USC Marines
2 x Automatic Turrets
1 x Cargo Loader
20 or so Xenomorphs, I never actually counted all of them
4 x Bases of Facehuggers
1 x Alien Queen
1 x Predalien
6 x Predators
2 x Predator Dogs
12 x Tiny Catapults
3 x Celts
3 x Saxons


Total - 70


The Tally of 2017

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And for those of you paying attention, that was 2017. At least Bowie didn't die in this one.

Guys, I just discovered this brand new game ... I think it could be big.

And this is the update to "Project: Micawber", let's all say it together...

"Annual leadpile twenty terminators, annual painting nineteen terminators nineteen marines and a cultist, result: stagnation.
Annual leadpile twenty 
terminators, annual painting twenty terminators nought and a cultist, result: progress."

Project: Micawber

The premise is simple: paint more models than I acquire, add them up at the end of the year and bring down that leadpile!

In 2016, I sailed across the finish line, racking up a massive 50 models to my credit. I had similarly high hopes - nay, higher hopes, for this year. Because of course, I had promised not to buy any new models.

This was my 2017:

Bought

Yet again, I promised myself I wouldn't buy any new models this year ... that lasted until mid-February. This year, I make no such pledge, maybe it will have the inverse effect.

(That said, I know I am getting a few Battalion boxes from Santa. And I've already thrown my cap at the yet-to-be-released Darkoath Queen. And if those rumours about Sisters of Battle turn out to be true... Oh yes, and Goblin Sky-Pirates)

At least the rate has slowed down a little. These are the fewest models I've bought in a couple of years, and mostly centred around three big chunks: the Age of Sigmar starter set, an old Beastmen battalion box (one of those eBay lots you can't pass by), and an initial dive into the Thousand Sons.

Acquisition total: 150 models.


Painted


Painted total: 168 models
(+18 models)

Against all odds, I made it across the finish line, and in double-digits too. The meagre margin of victory represents my second-best score since I've started this exercise, which makes you wonder what I was playing at for all those other years.

I can thank Satan Claus and his frenzied Advent Painting Challenge, which pushed me over the finish line - over a quarter of my painted total came in the month of December. We'll have to think of something equally gruelling next year.

In fairness to myself, moving house meant I was deprived of any means of painting for three months, which explains why my output was correspondingly diminished. No excused next year.

Other notables of 2017

  • Favourite unit: I liked the way the Ironjawz Brutes turned out, and I find painting Stormcasts to be a joy, but the winners have to be the Thousand Sons Rubric Marines - my first 40k squad, they weren't easy, but I do love the final effect.

  • Favourite model: This is a tougher one, as I seem to have done a lot of individual models this year. Slambo gets an honourable mention, for being so much fun to paint. I really like all of the Silver Tower heroes, and couldn't choose between them. I think I'll plump for the Gaunt Summoner, for being a great model, for the elbow-grease required and how well it came out.

  • Favourite battle: At present, my favourite battle is 'the last 40k one I played', so I guess I'll pick Sisters of Battle vs Thousand Sons. 40k 8th Edition has been a revelation - I really took to the Age of Sigmar-style ruleset, and to have tactical objectives and stratagems on top of that really ices my cake.

  • WoffBoot XI: Out first full-blooded Age of Sigmar tournament, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I'd been able to paint up a full Disciples of Tzeentch list, rather than playing Mixed Chaos (although I also had to paint up an Ironjawz list to load out, which proved formidable than my own). After a six-month hiatus, I could really do with getting my head back around all the AoS material out there.

  • Battles played: 40 - one more than last year! Quite a few big games (although our Tzeentch campaign remains unfinished), and almost no X-Wing. The pick-up game slot seems to have been filled with Dungeon Saga, Warhammer Quest and Shadespire (expect at least two of those to continue next year).

  • Blog posts: No YouTube battle report this year (for shame), but for an example of truly frenetic hobbying, I'll direct you to our Advent Challenge.

[Failed] Goals from 2017

I predicted that I would never keep my hobby resolutions, and that prediction was entirelysuccessful. Winning!
  • Finish all of Dungeon Saga
    Partial credit. I got very close: all the major sets are done. All that remains are a few freebies (and the doors, always the doors)

  • Complete all Age of Sigmar forces
    Silver Tower: the advent challenge really pushed me on. All but three models done (and I added three random heroes into the set, so it's a wash).

    Destruction: I painted up all the Ironjawz, except for three Gore-Gruntas (who took so long, they've deterred me from the rest), so they're pretty much done.

    Gorechosen: all of the core set, none of the additional warriors

    Chaos: no idea where we are with this. Despite having almost 3,000 points, the collection is looking a bit too ... chaotic ... for my taste. I need to round of all of the factions (Tzeentch, Khorne, Brayherd, Slaves to Darkness) into some coherence, and try not to think about Nurgle.

  • Finish all Lord of the Rings models
    I painted nine elves because Santa made me. Other than that, I've been a bad hobbitses.

  • Finish my Anglo-Saxons
    Not a single ceorl painted. Send me to the ducking stool.

  • Paint some scenery, any scenery
    Hah! I did better - I commissioned some scenery painted! (that's not really better is it?)

Goals for 2018

Right. With gimlet-eyed determination, I am going to make these goals, and I am going to keep these goals.
  • An new mystery 40k army (although my Christmas Eve challenge gives the game away)
  • Khorne Bloodbound
  • Disciples of Tzeentch
  • Stormcast Eternals
By my estimation, that will eat into about two-thirds of my production capacity. The rest will be taken care of with character models, finishing up units, and whatever random crap gets thrown at me during next year's Advent Challenge. And maybe a bit of scenery. Maybe not the scenery.

Have a great 2018, leadfellows. Let's ride those boxcars to victory!

Is This Another Bug Hunt? - Militarum Tempestus vs Tyranids

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Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

Great Xenos Oocytes!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!


As the old year lurches wretchedly away into the shadows, we found time for a final excursion into 40K. 'Tis I, Kraken, hosting a battle between my two new proto-armies, with the aid of my trusty accomplice Stylus and our buckets of dice.

Indeed! I, Stylus, will be shaking off my December painter's cramp by rolling some bones!

Still comatose after the excesses of the Julbord, I found myself more than usually unable to do any maths. So we went with Power Levels instead, and played a little narrative battle. Can a well-armed Tempestus Scion squadron see off a minor Tyranid incursion? Find out, as we play Patrol!

Forces

Twas the 'Nids Before Christmas

Hive Fleet Afanc Patrol Detachment - 0 CPs, Kraken Traits
  • HQ - Neurothrope, Warlord with Adaptive Biology and the Norn Crown, Smite and Catalyst powers
  • Elites - 3 Venomthropes
  • Troops 1 - 20 Genestealers with Toxin Sacs and a single Flesh Hooks
  • Troops 2 - 20 Genestealers with Toxin Sacs and a single Acid Maw
  • Heavy - Tyrannofex with Stinger Salvos, Adrenal Glands, Toxin Sacs and a Rupture Cannon

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

This nascent tendril is still coming out of gestation, and I was limited to a rather scrawny selection of odds and ends. Basically everything I've painted so far, if one can consider 40 Genestealers a scrawny pick.

They're loaded for bear, seeing as sticking all the bonus growths and whatnot on them is effectively free in Power Level mode. Crazy! And yet now I've looked at the points values, this lot wouldn't actually reach 1000 points (958, if I worked it right).

It's not a very synergistic force. The Venomthropes are too slow to screen the Genestealers. The Neurothrope is a nice cheap commander but fairly tame by itself. And the Tyrannofex is a nasty shooter but slow, likely to be a fire magnet and unlikely to make use of the fancy adrenal glands and toxins I gave it, both of which would be more use with other loadouts.

I'm also running with only three command points, which I think is likely to be bad. Still, if I can just get one good trick out, it might turn the tide.

All the same, with the Kraken traits, they can all advance like the clappers! And anything the Genestealers reach is going to have a very bad day. It's just getting there that might be the issue...

The Cowardly Scions

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.
  • HQ - Inquisitor Hurous de Vaulot (Xenos), Incinerator, Power sword, Psychic Power: Smite, Terrify
  • Elite - 1 x Acolyte, Stormbolter, Thunder Hammer
  • Elite - 1 x Acolyte, Plasma Gun, Power Maul
  • Elite - 3 x Bullgryns, Bullgryn Mauls, Slabshield
  • Transport - Valkyrie, Lascannon, Hellstrike missiles, 2 x Heavy Bolters
Ordo Xenos Vanguard Detachment - 1CP
  • HQ - Tempestor Prime, Warlord (Grand Strategist), Relic (Deathmask of Ollanius), Tempestus Command Rod, Power Sword
  • HQ - Primaris Psyker, Laspistol, Psychic Power: Smite, Nightshroud, Mental Fortitude
  • Troop - 9 x Tempestus Scions, Tempestor (Chainsword, Plasma Pistol), Vox-caster, 2 x Plasma Guns, 5 x Hot-Shot Lasguns
  • Troop - 5 x Tempestus Scions, Tempestor (Power Fist, Bolt Pistol), Vox-caster, 2 x Melta Guns, 1 x Hot-Shot Lasguns
  • Troop - 5 x Tempestus Scions, Tempestor (Power Fist, Bolt Pistol), Vox-caster, 2 x Flamers, 1 x Hot-Shot Lasgun
  • Transport - Taurox Prime, Taurox Gatling Cannon, 2 x Hot-Shot Volley Guns, Storm Bolter
  • Transport - Taurox Prime, Taurox Battle Cannon, 2 x Autocannons, Heavy Stubber
Millitarum Tempestus Battalion Detachment - 3CPs

Battleforged - 3CPs (7CPs total), Points: 52

After the Inquistion's dismal performance against the Tyranids, this operation has been put under Tempestus jurisdiction. I can fill out a battalion with three squads of Scions, along with a Tempestor Prime and a Psyker for a little psychic support (much good it may do me against the Shadow in the Warp) and to fill out a cheap HQ slot. My aim is to alpha-strike these units via grav-chute, while the two Tauroxes make for pretty hefty gun platforms (apparently they also transport things).

Meanwhile, the Vanguard detachment is what remains of Inquisitor de Vaulot's team: two acolytes (which I've cheekily divided into two units, to squeeze out another command point) and a pack of Bullgryns. These guys will fly in on the Valkyrie and get up close and personal once the Tyranid ranks have been thinned. And since weapon upgrades are free, I've overloaded my Acolytes (who are here to serve as ablative wounds) with some nice toys.

The Tempestor Prime gets to be the Warlord, so he gets the Deathmask of Ollanius for an invulnerable save and a one-off wounds boost; plus the ubiquitous Grand Strategist trait to recycle command points and gain a one-off re-roll (which I'm going to forget about - spoiler alert: I do)

Interestingly, my army clocks in at around the 1,000pt mark as well (so is there really much of a difference in points or power levels?)

Appropriately for the scenario, this is a very mobile recon force: I can squeeze the whole lot into transports or deepstrike and, though I may be squishy, I'll hit hard and fast when I make my appearance. I'm already warming to the Tempestus: it's like playing Eldar but without feeling dirty afterwards.


Deployment and Terrain

Patrol sees two small forces clashing from the diagonal corners of the board. Simple really - victory points for wiping out enemy units (we house-ruled an amendment - you score based on the power level of the destroyed unit, rather than just 1pt per unit - otherwise it's an easy win for Kraken with his 5 big units vs my 12 small and squishy ones).

You start with three units out and everything else arrives as random reinforcements later. There are even some bonus strategems to help you get your mates in when you need them, if we can remember to use any.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

Kraken Towers got a new and larger kitchen table for Christmas! Not quite 6x4, but 6x3 is good enough for our small forces, especially with the diagonal corners to start from. The random rolling casts me as the Defenders, which means I deploy first but can bring in my reinforcements more easily.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.
Here's the side view. Two new buildings in progress, just polystyrene packaging from a toaster at present. Vital to the Imperial war effort, all the same. 

My plan is obviously to try and rush the enemy. Picking the 'Thrope and one squad of Genestealers, I deploy as close as I can to the enemy position, then throw down the Venomthropes for mobile cover in case I don't have the first turn.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

I'm the attacker, and narratively it makes sense for the flyer and grav-chutists to arrive in reserve, so that settles that. The two Tauroxes go on the front line - the Gatling one as close as possible, in case I get the first turn, and the Battle Cannon one enjoying its longer range at the back.

The Tempestus Prime and largest squad of Scions bundle inside the Gatling Taurox, ready to roll. The final unit drop is the Primaris Psyker, who isn't allowed inside the Taurox, so has to cool his heels outside.

We roll for the first turn, and the Tyranids take it! I may be attacking, but even commando humans lack the reflexes of the Hive Fleet. Now I'm going to find out how fast they can move.

Turn 1 - Tyranids


<<Intruders. Repel. Consume. Attack!>>

Ah! Well, seeing as I do have the first turn, I'd better make the most of it.

It's a long shot, but therefore the only kind worth taking. Blowing a third of my Command Points straight out of the gate, I go for the Kraken Strategem 'Opportunistic Advance', which doubles the distance I roll for the 'Stealers. And with them being Kraken types, I can roll three dice and pick the best. Ten bonus inches for a total of eighteen leaves them in the wood, a scant nine inches from the Gatling Taurox and therefore eight for the charge.

The HQ and Venomthropes are obviously left behind by this, but they do their best. I want those enemy psykers in Shadow of the Warp range asap. Catalyst is a no-brainer for defence of the troops, so I throw that out at least, but I'm out of Smite range.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

When I declare the charge, Stylus sensibly counters with his own strategem - defensive fire pours from the turrets of the APC, doubling its chances of hitting on Overwatch. Five 'stealers cop it in the trees, and then it's time for the all-important distance roll.

Which I duly fail. Twice, with a re-roll.

Hmm. Not ideal, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. And at least I know where the return fire is likely to focus!

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

Turn 1 - Militarum Tempestus

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

+++Commander Mace Ironside reporting in. Our reconnaissance patrol has encountered a nest of xenos. They are numerous and approaching our position with extreme hostility. Deploying infantry in dragon's teeth defensive formation+++

Yikes, those genestealers are looking awfully near, and I'm not going to get so lucky with their charges next time.

Reinforcements aren't coming until next turn at least, and so I make the counter-intuitive decision to pile everyone out of their nice armoured vehicle and form a firing line (we can't afford to let even one of those bastards get through). The two Taurox stay still, as they've no shortage of targets.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.
Everybody dressed for winter combat. Except for the Psyker, the moron.

In the Psychic phase, I go defensive and put Mental Fortitude on the Scions (assuming any will be alive to make a Morale check), and then we're off to the Shooting.

The Primaris Psyker opens the batting, with a well-placed laspistol shot that actually fells a genestealer. Everyone else joins in: the Tempestor Prime orders First Rank Fire! Second Rank Fire! on the squad, who unleash 20 hot-shots, followed by some plasma (although I'm appalled to learn that the Vox-Caster traded his lasgun for a laspistol with a tiny range - we'll be having words with him back at the barracks).

After the infantry have cut down half a dozen genestealers (their Catalyst is helping them out some), the vehicles get to speak. The Gatling Taurox mows down a wave of the beasties, with rolls of six exploding into more shots at half-range (I'm already more than a little impressed with the Tempestus).

Finally comes the Battle Cannon Taurox - fewer shots, but dealing more damage. This actually makes harder work of the genestealers, since they are single-wound with invulnerable saves and catalyst, but I manage to blast away the final one with my last shot (so it turns out that Psyker's laspistol was crucial, after all!)

The dust settles, and I'm feeling pretty damn good about this first turn: I've blazed away half of the Tyranid troops and lost nothing in return.

Turn 2 - Tyranids

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

<<Aggression! Protect, swarm. Devour!>>

Reinforcements are called for! Luckily, they all arrive. The Tyrannofex lumbers into a firing position, the other Genestealers pour in behind it.

Which leaves me with a mild conundrum - run backwards with the Venomthropes to cover these newcomers and risk leaving the HQ stranded? Or stay put to cover the forthcoming advance?

I plump with the latter, and the brain bug and his portable shields take cover behind a nearby rock.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

It's a short turn after that. I'm outside Smite range still, and cast Catalyst on the Tyrannofex, but then it fluffs its shooting and fails to damage the Battlecannon Taurox. I can almost feel the laser sights flickering over my carapaces...

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

Turn 2 - Militarum Tempestus

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

+++Commander Ironside supplemental. The first wave of xenos have been eradicated, but more have appeared. Request immediate grav-chute insertions and deployment of air support+++

Without a massive pack of genestealers breathing down my throat, I'm more confident about this turn. And at least the proximity of the Venomthropes, and pretty much nothing else, helps with my target selection. I advance the Scions into the forest, just close enough to be in range of the Venomthropes, then keep the vehicles stationary for some more glorious dakka.

In the reserves roll, I spend two CPs to fire up an attack signal and increase my odds of getting reinforcements. It pays off, and both the Valkyrie (carrying the Inquisitor, his two acolytes, and Bullgryn squad) and the flamer-armed Scions turn up.

All well and good, but what I really want is the melta-armed Scions to drop down and nuke the Tyrannofex. No such luck, even with a stratagem re-roll (although I do get to recycle the command point).

So the Valkyrie appears in the very corner, out of the Tyrannofex's range, but within shooting for itself. The Scions drop in along the main battleline, but their flamers are out of range of the minimum nine inches (take note kids: flamers are a stupid choice for grav-chute alpha-strikes).

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

With my point-and-click-and-delete method of target selection, almost my whole army mows down the Venomthropes. The only exceptions are the Taurox Battle Cannon and the Valkyrie's long-range weapons, both of whole fail to put a dent in the Tyrannofex's carapace.

It falls to the two plasma-gun Scions, who have wisely been ordered to re-roll 1s, and so can safely overcharge their weapons. Unfortunately, even a re-roll can't save one gunner, who promptly explodes. The other shots does make a dent in the Tyrannofex for two wounds, so it's a fair trade.

Turn 3 - Tyranids

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

<<Evade. Lure. Await. Ambush.>>

Right, well, the Neurothrope is looking a little on the exposed side, so it wibbles back towards the rest of the bugs. I'm not going to reach the advancing guardsmen this turn, so the Genestealers go and hide behind the nearby building, while the Tyrannofex strokes its big gun lovingly with a slobbery claw.

I pip off a Scion with a Smite (I instruct Kraken to remove my Vox-Caster - that'll teach him to leave his lasgun at home!) then fail dismally to put Catalyst on the Warlord, so it'll be relying on that shiny Warp Field save to live through the next round. At least I can look forward to the shooting phase!

Oh no I can't. Although I hit and wound that cannon Taurox twice, it somehow saves both shots and remains unscathed (I got boxcars just when I needed them - my dice rolls were unconscionably hot during this game). At least I pick off two more Scions with the spike barrage thingy the 'Fex has, but it's hardly even a bloodied nose to the foe. Grimly, I await further fire.

Turn 3 - Militarum Tempestus

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

+++Mace Ironside calling in. We've lost visual on the xenos and I'm getting vox-transmissions that our air support is under Inquisitorial jurisdiction. Please confirm. We need fire control from the ground, not grandstanding+++

My melta squad is still circling the clouds, so I'll have to make do with what's on the table. Not wanting to press too deep into the skulking genestealers, I just dress my line of Scions and keep the Taurox where they are parked.

Inquisitor de Vaulot has other plans, and the Valkyrie screams upfield, where it can get a plumb target on anything - it's closest to the Neurothrope and has eyes for the Tyrannofex.

The Psyker tries and fails to get off a Smite on the Neurothrope (really, he has better luck with the laspistol).

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

With only two targets visible, it's not a great stretch of target selection: heavy stuff into the Tyrannofex and everything else into the Neurothrope.

A combination of poor shooting and good saves means the Neurothrope is still alive after weathering nearly all my shots, including the Gatling Taurox. I throw all the Battle Cannon's Taurox side-weapons at him, but keep the main gun for the Tyrannofex. As it happens, my split fire cost me the kill: the Neurothrope clings onto his last wound and the Battle Cannon whiffs against the big monster.

As a consolation, the Valkyrie's lascannon burns five wounds off the Tyrannofex (everything else missed), but this is my first turn without making a kill, so my luck may have ebbed.

Turn 4 - Tyranids

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

<<Danger! Protect! Gather, Prepare. Devour!>>

Eek. Lucky to survive that last round of fire, I was. So I quickly rush an ablative screen of 'Stealers round the two bigger bugs and hope for the best. 

Catalyst on the Tyrannofex, and a little smite to scrape the Valkyrie's hull, but it's quiet after that. Once again, the Tyrannofex whiffs its shooting (its wounds don't help with this either) and it fails to hurt the rear Taurox at all this time. It fails, not me or my dice rolling. It's entirely the model's fault. 

Turn 4 - Militarum Tempestus

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

+++Ironside here. What in the Emperor's nutsack is that Inquisitor doing? Tell him to take his bird back into the sky and let my crew do their job!+++

The melta squad is obliged to land on this turn, so at least I have that in the bag. With that confidence, I sound a general advance: the two existing squads push forward, and even the Gatling Taurox finds the ignition switch and chugs forward into range of the genestealers.

The melta-gun Scions drop directly in front of the Tyrannofex, warming up their cookers for the big beast. Meanwhile the Inquisitor orders the Valkyrie into hover mode, with an eye to taking the Tyrannofex's scalp himself (although all the passengers remain inside the ship - there are still plenty of genestealers out there).

Since the flyer is looking a wee bit vulnerable, I cast Nightshroud onto it during the Psychic phase, just in case it gets picked on by shooting.

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.
"Just set it down anywhere. This can't possibly go wrong."

The Tempestor Prime tries to issue an order to the melta squad, but realised that he's lost the vox-operator in the squad closest to him (opps...) and so his commands won't be heard. Notwithstanding, in the shooting phase, one of the melta guns manages to burn off a chunk of wounds.

This leaves the Valkyrie to mop up - and with a successful wounding by the lascannon once again, I spend a CP to turn 1 wound into 6. The luckless Tyrannofex collapses to the ground.

The rest of the shooting is less effective, and only four genestealers are downed by my small-arms.

All my forces are now deployed, and just a mob of genestealers to go!

Turn 5 - Tyranids

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

<<Spring! Destroy! Overwhelm and Assimilate!>>

You know, if you're going to hover a big plump birdie right in front of me, I'm going to take the bait. As one, the Genestealers rush the Valkyrie and the Melta-Scions, and if I take losses in the Overwatch fire (three or four, I think) I don't really mind. 

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

Catalyst and Smite on the way in, the latter of which gives my vampiric boss brain a wound back. It'll need it. 

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.
"Spunkmeyer, was there something you wanted to tell me?"

Combat is everything I dreamed it would be. Three Genestealers are more than enough to tear the Melta boys to shreds, and the rest rip the Valkyrie up in short order.

Take note, self: flyers are often at their most effective in the air.

It doesn't explode (phew) but it does disgorge an angry pack of Inquisitorial Ogryns and their boss, far enough away that I can't overrun into them sadly. 

Well, at least I made a mark! 

Turn 5 - Militarum Tempestus

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

+++It's Mace, damn you! I've been ignoring your damn signals because your damn Inquisitor got his damn ship blowed up and now my damn troops have to squish the damn bugs so we can pull his dumb damn carcass out of the damn bug's nest! Damn it!+++

Last turn, no air support, and a host of genestealers to pick my way through before I can get a shot at that Neurothope. Here goes....

Warhammer 40k battle report - Narrative - Patrol Mission - 52 points - Militarum Tempestus & Inquisition vs Tyranids.

With a combination of Smite, flamers, incinerators, lasguns, gatling gun, battle cannon and every other sidearm I can muster, I just about take out all fourteen of the genestealers. But that leaves me with no guns left, and a long charge as my only chance for a decapitation.

The Inquisitor is closest; he fails. The Acolyte hefting the thunder hammer is next; he misses by an inch.

That leaves the Bullgryns needed a 10 - I roll double-6 and the big boys are in! 

Even with their murderous close-combat attacks, it's still a near-run thing. I whiff a lot of my wound rolls, but a bullgryn maul finds its mark and the brain-bug is squished.

52 : 14 - Victory to the Militarum Tempestus Inquistion! (amended by Inquisitorial decree)

Locker... Warren? Hatchery?

Well, nice that my newest army won! 

Hive Fleet Afanc needs work. Chiefly, it needs chaff, although I realise that a better deployment would have been both troops and the Tyrannofex, so I could have maximum threat value on the board. Neither Neurothrope nor Venomthropes really paid for themselves in this game, dying isolated and alone without really affecting the game much. 

The 'Fex would probably have been better with the Acid Spray (cheaper too, for points games), as it could then have advanced and assaulted as well. I bet it would have eaten up Overwatch fire pretty effectively, screening for the 'Stealers. Who were of course brilliant, but just can't last against firepower of such magnitude at this, or indeed any, range. 

Still, that first charge would have spun the game if I'd made it, so I regret nothing. And I know, of course, exactly why the Tyrannofex rolled so poorly. The real model was sulking, unpainted, from the sidelines, almost willing me to fail. 


That was brutal! It certainly doesn't pay to be on the receiving end of a Militarum Tempestus gunline (and I should know). I enjoyed more than healthy slice of luck in this game: my random shots/wounds were never less than average, my big rolls came in when they needed to. I'm going to pay for it in some future game, but I was seeing an awful lot of sixes.

And the most crucial vicissitude was the double-fail of Kraken's genestealer charge in the very first turn. A few more inches and that would have surely popped my Galting Taurox, exposed half my infantry and put me on all kinds of defensive backfooting. Still, that's the breaks when running assault-vs-firepower lists.

(although the Tyranid's firepower was desperately unlucky. I've seen Tyrannofex's devastate armies before - hence my focus on taking it down - but this one must have been hatched from a rotten egg)

A thought on the scenario: in many ways, it was the most 'direct' game of 40k I've played. this surprises me for a Narrative mission, which I'd thought would be more than an escalating slugfest. Maybe without tactical objectives in play there's no incentive than to do anything but kill each other. Or maybe it was just the types of armies we picked (both do depend on inflicting a huge amount of damage in the first strike.

Maybe if we pick Narrative again, we need to tailor our forces in advance, to be sure of getting something suitably fluffy. Or maybe that Taurox need to stop being such awesome tanks masquerading as transports.


On the subject of Narrative play, I think our house-rule about point scoring was a good one. If we'd gone by 1pt per destroyed unit, the final score would have been 5:3 in favour of the Imperium. I don't know about you, but that battlefield didn't look like a 5:3 result.

Either way, a splendid way to see out the year: killing xenos in the 41st millennium!


P.S. A little side note on the painting - I was hoping to have the Scions finished by today, but my girls were home with 'flu and I didn't quite find the time to do it in I hoped for. 85% done, maybe, at least, so just fine details to finish off. Don't judge them yet, that's all I'm saying!

Temp Agency

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Stormtroopers ready for action!




You know when you think a batch of painting is almost done apart from a few small details, then it takes you the best part of a week to get it completed? So it went with this lot. There's an awful lot of fiddly detail on them, if you want to get into it. Nothing you couldn't do all in one colour, of course, the power generator on the backpacks for example. And I could have done even more if was was really masochistic, armour trim in another colour for example.

See what I mean? No wonder they have to be paradropped everywhere, they're not walking far with that lot. Unless it's to a Ghostbusters sleepover party. 


But no, picking white as the primary colour was self-destructive enough. Blergch, that's a bugger to paint. Worse, it makes using white as your final highlight seem a bit washed out, which is bad news for lens or reflective effects, which of course they're covered in. Only myself to blame, of course!

As well as all the usual little blemishes you notice after photography (this sarge is crying through his goggles, for example, the lacrymose fool), I spotted that I hadn't painted their respirator pipes black as intended. So back to the painting table tomorrow, sigh. There's a single test model I did who has this detail, bonus points for spotting him.

Nice models, though the kit is nowhere near as versatile as you might hope. Although you've got tons of weapon options, and it builds standard storm-squaddies as well as the command group, the weapons are super picky about which backpacks and arms they join with. Although torsos, legs and heads are all good for pose variations, if you want four hotshot volley guns from your four packs (as I did), you're getting four gunners in more or less the same pose.

Spiffing rugged heads under those berets. Green seemed the obligatory choice, given those WWII moustaches.



This monster haul is the fruit of two start collecting boxes. Twenty troopers, two trucks and two Commissars, which whilst being lovely models are also a bit monopose. Nothing the clippers couldn't fix there, at least.

"I got one! Let's surf!"

There's another box to come, though, as I'm going to need a command group. Commissars are nice and cheap, but after all the nerfing this year, they're not ideal to take care of small, expensive squads. If you're at risk of failing morale anyway, a reroll at the cost of a casualty isn't particularly enticing!


While I was at them, I managed to squeeze in a Servitor as well, a scratch build from the bits box and an old Scout body. I have three lead ones already, but the squad minimum is four. Annoyingly, I build him with a heavy bolter originally before spotting that you can only have two heavy weapons in a squad. So I tore his arm off and stuck a big grindy thing (from the Centurion kit) on instead. Hardly noticed, poor sod.


The Taurox is a beast on the battlefield, despite a recent (and deserved) points hike. Alas, I really hate the awful tracks the GW version has, so I got the conversion kit from Zinge Industries to turn it into a nice wheeled version. That's also where the windows and spare bits of kit come from, which also improve it greatly.


Crazy model in terms of interior detail! It's fully kitted out in there, passenger seats, driver and all the controls. But no opening doors, which means it's sort of wasted unless you want to cut the doors open with a knife or do wrecks or something. Weird choice from GW there. At least I've got some bonus ground crew bits for conversions and so on.


Otherwise I've left all the turrets and weapons loose so I can swap about, although this meant having to make a second roof panel from card and leftovers as I'd used one for the missile launcher, and I'm currently also a turret hatch short.


Still, I'm well pleased with them! And this small but hard-hitting army is revving up for the Swoffboot.


Painting Guide:


  • White - As for the Valkyrie, so Corax White washed with Nuln Oil, then Celestra Grey drybrush, then a second wash with Agrax Earthshade on lower areas, then White Scar layered on before Eshin Grey stippling for a final weathering effect. Really helps bring out the edges, actually, otherwise it looks a bit washed out
  • Trooper Clothing - Eshin Grey and Nuln Oil
  • Guns - Eshin Grey and two layers of Nuln Oil, then a careful Dawnstone edging before Stormhost Silver metal details
  • Lens Flare and Power Swords- Ahriman Blue with Nuln Oil, then Ahriman again, then Temple Guard Blue and Etherium Blue layers and a White Scar dot or stripe depending
  • Red Bits - Khorne Red, Nuln Oil, Evil Sunz Scarlet
  • Green Bits - Goblin Green, Green Ink, Nurgling Green
  • Battle Damage - Lahmian Medium with Rhinox Hide and then Black
  • Flesh - Kislev Flesh with two coats of Reikland Flesh wash, then Kislev again, then Wrack Flesh highlights and a bit of Lahmian Medium with Dawnstone for stubble
  • Plasma - Goblin Green, watery White Scar in the recesses and a final wash of Bieltan Green to make it blend green together
  • Strappy Bits - Rhinox, Agrax, Gorthor Brown layer


The Command Squad will be joining them later. Not much later, there's only just over a month to go...



EXT: Strategic Resources

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Jungle looking drab? Need items of strategic value to seize? Look no further!


Three more custom Objective markers, ready to hit the tables. Although the full list of armies for the Swoffboot isn't totally confirmed yet, I'm thinking of trying to do stuff so that each army has at least one themed token to aim for.


Starting with the Tyranids, who get this displaced Tervigon stomach.


Other than gluing the termagants in upside down, it wasn't really much of a struggle to convert it. Or paint it, it's a nice big bulgy lump of pale flesh, and I didn't really try anything fancy with it. It's Objective Two, on the grounds that there are two termagants emerging.

Watkins! Stow your kit!

Objective Three is made from spare bits and bobs from the Tempestus sprues, plus some of the jerry cans from the conversion sprues for the Tauroxes.


And Objective One, because there's only one dead guy sitting on it, is this cheery skeleton. This is the driver's seat from a Taurox, a remarkably detailed bit of kit considering you'd need an endoscope to see it on the normal kit. Not that I'm complaining! With the addition of a Skeletal Horde head and a resin bioscanner, this pilot forgot to check his parachute before ejecting.

Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby. 

Two more to do - one for Chaos and one for T'au. Or maybe two for chaos. Time will tell...

Just the Fex, Ma'am

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I cannot lie. I like big bugs.





This living tank creature, the Tyrannofex, is one of the heaviest options the Tyranids can bring to bear. Not that it can't fall to dedicated heavy weapons fire, but it's either going to soak a round of shooting or two, or it's going to be up in your grill, puking acid on everything and possibly even absorbing overwatch fire for your lesser beetles.

This one's the Rupture Cannon variety, the big anti-armour gun.

My wife identified it as a crayfish, which is alarming, seeing as it's her favourite food. Doesn't matter how many vowels are in your month, if the shellfish is green, don't eat it.

They look more and more like watermelons each time I paint one, speaking of food comparisons. Excellent, now I'm hungry.

Magnets aren't really my thing, because they cost extra money. So if I want weapon options, I need to drill holes and make pins. The forearms are therefore swappable, thanks to some chopped up paperclips and a small chunk of my thumb, given in supplication to the dark gods of hobby.

Fleshborer Hives, the anti-infantry gun.
The Adrenaline Gland upgrades. Medically, I'm not sure that calling it an adrenaline gland is really accurate - the name means 'over the kidneys' from the Latin. But maybe Tyranids keep their kidneys in their upper rear thighs, so fair enough. 

They don't swap in terribly easily, alas, it's a fiddle as the base gets in the way a bit, but they're a good solid fit that won't fall off during combat. That's a plus in combat attachments, my military sources inform me.

This is the Acid Spray, a massive flamer basically. Easily the hardest to take on and off, the pins that hold the dangly tubes on went a bit wonky.

Painting Guide:

  • Basic colours as per the previous 'Nids
  • Heavy Carapace - washed with two coats of Green Ink, edged with Putrid Green
  • Weapon Symbiotes - Incubi Darkness, Nuln Oil, Incubi Darkness to Kabalite Green to Kabalite Green plus White Scar layers
  • Bulging Sacs - Barbarian Flesh, Reikland Fleshshade, spots of Druchii Purple in places, highlights of Ulthuan Grey plus Wrack Flesh



Just over a month until the 'Boot, and my painting queue is pretty much clear (a couple of scratch built things to fiddle with, but nothing essential). Which is good, I need to rest up. There's an army incoming that needs painting in its entirety before the tournament begins.

Goth Vader

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Image result for star wars fish nuns

You know what we haven't played in ages? X-wing.



Kraken and Kas here, catching up with the latest releases for the game. Also remembering how to play it, and discovering that our lists are full of terrible choices.

Two swift matches, with Kas taking an Imperial list to try out Kylo Ren in his natty new TIE Silencer, and me taking the usual scum hybrid, one rich in bombs, the other with the all new Kimogila fighter. Lists in the links if you want them!

Space Scyk is a fairly erratic selection of stuff. Two hard hitting jousters, looking to fly straight at the enemy and hopefully blow them up first, supported by a pair of ultra-light fighters, who can hopefully nip round the edges and annoy people before exploding.

Bombastic, in contrast, plays with my favourite bombs. The big lovely Scurrg bomber is packed out with as much as I could fit in it, the Quadjumper is a one-trick pony set to support the main bomber, and there was room for a cheap Z-95 as a distraction.

Kas's list has Kylo, Kylo's personal shuttle (feat. Gen Hux and a ton of focus and stress generation mechanics) and Kylo's anonymous mook bodyguard in a TIE Fighter, just so my cheap fodder have something they can actually deal with.

And off to the races we go!


Round One - Space Scyk vs Battle Group Kylo




We set up facing off against each other on the lower edge.


Most of my lot edge in cautiously, but not the Protectorate guy, who is pretty agile and best used at close range. So I hurl him in heedless, and sure enough, he takes a lot of fire. But he survives!


As Kylo speeds in towards my flank in the next turn, he finds himself hit in return by both Light Scyks. Not before he slams the Kimogila with his dark side powers, however, and my pilot is temporarily blinded and unable to fire.

This is a shame! As this Kimogila gets free target locks on people in its special bulleye firing arc, and I had one on the shuttle. All the same, I'm in a good place, as Kylo is left on a single hull point after a battering from my chaff. Sadly, the Protectorate guy not only fails to smash the TIE fighter at close range, he gets blown up in return.



Then I pull my usual trick of hitting all the asteroids I can find. The Kimogila, hoping to finish Kylo off with its one-shot turret, rams the cluster in the middle. And as I sacrifice one of the Scyks to gum up the shuttle's flight, the other just clips the edge of the big asteroid in front of it, and I lose any chance to finish Kylo. Worse, this guy also takes a critical from the asteroids, so all his turns become red manouvers.

The sacrifical Scyk obviously blows up in short order before getting a shot off, but his job is done - he could have followed Kylo round too, but he'd almost certainly have been shot down from behind anyway.



As I try to rectify my mistakes, Kylo is fast to capitalise on them, spinning back into the centre (man, that thing can go!) and blowing the Kimogila up before it can clear the asteroids fully. My wounded Scyk limps feebly into the path of the shuttle, and at least stays safe there as the TIE fighter was also chasing off the Kimogila.


I'm not the only asteroid hound, though! The TIE Fighter's obsidian pilot pulls his trademark K-turn, but the asteroids bring him down on the way through. Which is interesting!


Because now, although the odds are against me, if I can survive a quick joust with the badly damaged Kylo, there's a good chance I can outmanouver the shuttle, stay behind it and pick it off. A tall order, but all the same, far from a foregone conclusion! Aware of this, Kas slowly arches in towards me.


And it nearly happens, too! In the event, I manage to dodge Kylo's fire and am set for a close range blast. Alas, the shuttle was a bit speedier than I hoped, and picks me off at long range before I can fire. Not entirely surprising, I guess, but it still got my hopes up for a second.

Round Two - Kylo's Fan Group vs Fantastic Bombastic



Without further ado, we set up the next match. Once more, Kylo takes centre field, broadly opposed by the Quadjumper and the Z-95, while my big king Scurrg aims to take on the shuttle and its escort in the upper third.


We all edge gently in towards each other, keeping it cautious as we look for openings. I see one, the shuttle is presenting its flank to my heavy bomber, so in I go!


As the lighter fighters close in, the Z-95 sets up target lock on Kylo with his shiny new jamming missiles (which remove focus or target locks). The shuttle, however, helps Kylo pull some horrifying gymnastics, and suddenly he's right up in my grill, facing off against the Quadjumper and far too close to hit with the missiles!

He's quite stressed out after all that flying, though, and I manage to scrape through with only a tiny dot of damage. Not that I do much in return, although it's enough to scratch his paint and earn the Quadjumper Kylo's wrath and the promise of a nice critical later on from his Dark Side showing tendencies.

The TIE and the Scurrg face off, and the TIE comes off worst, both missing its shot and taking a harpoon missile to the face for its pains. Ha! Hux, on board the shuttle, tries to stress me out for this, but I take a point of damage to shrug it off with my feedback array.


Flying straight over the harpooned TIE, the Scurrg blasts it with proximity mines as well, but it's a bit of a fluff and I only knock a single point off it. Kylo spins about in a fury, but fails to connect with the Z-95, although his shuttle makes up for this by smashing it. The shuttle, however, has the Scurrg on its tail, and starts taking damage.


And then it's bomb time! The Quadjumper drops a Proton bomb, and both Kylo and the Shuttle end up on top of it. As does the Scurrg, annoyingly, who also fluffs his shot on the shuttle. As the Quadjumper darts away from the blast, rolling past the asteroids for cover, Kylo and the TIE combine forces to plink away at his hull.


Kylo hurtles towards the Quad to finish the job, as does the TIE, but they've reckoned without my suicidal flying. I back it into the asteroids, where it can't shoot, but luckily avoids further damage and is in a nice place for next round. The Scurrg trundles along behind the shuttle, but I keep rolling badly for damage, merely denting the shields that I should be shredding!


I see the TIE fighter coming back in, at least, and cheerfully throw a Thermal Detonator from the Scurrg right into its flight path. Alas, I didn't really read the Harpoon missile description, so the TIE explodes loudly enough to hurt the Quadjumper! Which is also close enough to the detonation to be hurt, but that at least I planned for, and the blast armour I bought it allows it to shrug off friendly bombs. Kylo is whirling round for a second pass, but too far to connect right now. Alas, the Scurrg just can't land straight hits, and another fluffy round of shooting sees the shuttle untouched.


Again! The Scurrg whiffs the shooting and the shuttle flies on unconcerned. Now Kylo is nearly back in strike range. The Quadjumper keeps taking stress from shouty Hux, so I can't turn it back in as fast as I'd like either. If only the Scurrg could shoot as well as it drops bombs!


More bombs are jettisoned, and on top of that, I finally manage to knock the shuttle's shields out. However! Kylo, by skin of his teeth, squeezes in past the proximity mines I threw at him and all but takes out the Scurrg in a single pass. There's a picture missing here, but in the next turn, Kylo fluffs his shot for a change, the shuttle is too busy turning out of the corner to do much, and I manage to slap an ion turret shot on Kylo as well as scraping him with a second Thermal Detonator.


As the shuttle starts shaking apart, now sandwiched between the Quadjumper and the Scurrg, I decide to concentrate fire on it, and very nearly finish it off. This means foregoing the chance to hit Kylo with the Ion turret again, which would absolutely guarantee he'd be off the board next turn, but I figure there's a good chance of that happening anyway.


No! Hux barks orders from the shuttle, giving Kylo a free move, and then he's back on my tail and it's all over for the Scurrg. Some lucky rolling in defence saves the shuttle, too, which starts loading stress back on the Quadjumper. Only one thing for it...


...which is to try and take out the fighter escort before finishing off the lumbering shuttle. Sadly, Kylo is much more deadly than a lowly barge pilot, and I'm blown up before I get a shot. At least my Dead Man's Switch costs him another hit, and he's left on a single wound again!

Curses!

Air Locker Room

Well, if poor flying cost me the first game, my eye was back in for the second. The first list did poorly because I used it badly, but even then, it was closer than it perhaps looked. With bombs and the Quad, though, I know what I'm doing. Only good luck saved Kylo and his peeps, I reckon - a single hit more on the Shuttle would have taken it out, leaving Kylo spinning off the board after that Ion blast!

Kylo was absolutely the MVP in both games, I reckon - fast and punishing. That awful awful shuttle is a right pain to fly near, though, boosting its own team with free focus while throwing stress out at the same time. Bleh.

Great games both, and nice to get another match in after a long break!

Smiley's People

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There are worse things than Christmas Flu.





Pox Walkers for the Death Guard of Leofa, checking in! Jolly models all, blessed with as many extra horns, big wobbly buboes and tiny maggots as anyone could wish for. I find increasingly, in fact, that I could wish for fewer. Every time you think you've finished a model, another half dozen miniscule details seep out of its crevices, and it's back to the painting board.


Fun stuff, all the same, and mostly achieved with drybrushing and washes. I've done my best to keep them colourful and varied, as if ever I saw a ragtag unit, this is it. Tell you what I'd really like to see, and that's a box of Imperial Civilians by the same sculptor - all these disease-ridden wrecks have got backstory to them, some hint of their job or role before they got the Nurgle Trots, and they're great.


From what I understand, they're best in even bigger units than this mob of sixteen. A great tarpit unit, cheap and fairly rubbish, but hard to kill and prone to regenerating in hand to hand. Everything they kill comes back as another poxwalker, which is a nice rule! Unless you happen to be fighting them, of course. Then it's a bastard.

Painting Guide:

  • Basecoat - Death Guard Green, I think? 
  • Skin - Cadian Fleshtone, Reikland Flesh Wash then spots of Carroberg Crimson or Druchii Violet on 'sick' bits, Eldar Flesh drybrush, Averland Sunset or Pallid Wych Flesh or Khorne Red on spots, Red Ink finish. Green ones given a Bieltan Green wash over basecoat and then Nurgling Green drybrush. Brown ones in Rhinox Hide, Nuln Oil, Dryad Bark plus Kislev Flesh drybrush. Maggots in Pallid Wych Flesh. 
  • Eyes - Tentacle Pink with Red Ink, Black spot
  • Grins - Pallid Wych Flesh, Tentacle Pink lips, Red Ink edging
  • Clothes - A mix of Deathworld Green, Skavenblight Dinge and Eshin Grey washed with Nuln Oil or Agrax and drybushed with either Tyrant Skull, Underhive Ash or Longbeard Grey
  • Blades and Metal - Skavenblight Dinge, Nuln Oil, Leadbelcher drybrush
  • Horns - Ushabti Bone, Agrax Earthshade, Tyrant Skull
  • Tentacles - Genestealer Purple, Druchii Violet, Genestealer Purple again, Tentacle Pink highlights
  • Bases - Sand and PVA with Ochre weathering powder mixed in, then the same weathering power brushed on top to finish



Plenty more Nurgle to come! Hope I get through all of it by the 'Boot...

Watching the WarTube

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Here’s something I discovered after diving back into Warhammer 40K: there’s a metric ton of video reports out there!

Warhammer Fantasy had some presence, although the rank ‘n flank style seemed equally suited to the written word and flat images. Age of Sigmar is getting some traction, but OH BOY is there a lot of 40k content available.

It's basically watching this for several hours.
Better than the snooker.

But which ones are the TV Times' pick of the week?


As with everything, there is a lot of dross out there, but the best channels really do put out some quality stuff. The models and battlefields are beautiful; they’re on top of the rules and the meta (or the background narrative); and when the dice start rolling, it can get very exciting.

The ‘official’ channel, I guess would be Games Workshop’s Warhammer Twitch channel, although it doesn’t do much for me. The ‘top-down’ view with play-by-play commentators works really well for games like X-Wing, but I think Warhammer works best when the camera is in amongst the thick of it, hearing the players banter and seeing the dice roll. Essentially, I think the experience works best when you’re taking the role of a spectator who’s looking over the shoulder of a game at his mates’ house.

After some extensive shopping around, I’ve now found some of the best channels out there. They make for very good proxies when you can’t play an actual game (or face long train or plane journeys). They also can be very good painting companions, especially as even the shortest report will run for longer than an hour.

I find myself watching/listened to at least five battle reports a week (so at a rough estimate, that’s 150 reports since 8th Edition started) and the hidden bonus is that the best channels know their rules and take the time to explain what’s happening, so I’ve come up to speed with the 40k rules faster than any other games system.

So without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the channels I’d recommend:

Winters SEO

The definition of a gentleman gamer. Stunning battlefields, a broad choice of opponents and a strong dedication to the narrative of the universe.

The regular armies are usually Space Marines, AdMech or Death Guard. You’ll always get a good-looking battle, a variety of opposing armies, and a great story.



Tabletop Assault

Three guys from Scotland, playing a variety of armies (Necrons, Thousand Sons, Chaos Marines, T’au and AdMech off the top of my head).

A newly-growing channel, which makes the team the most responsive to video comments. Solid gameplay, good banter and, of course, everything sounds better in a Scottish accent.



Grim Resolve

Just south of the border, two guys from the North East do battle with a wide variety of big armies. Some really sound tactics on display and a rock-solid grip on the rules. They also are happy to play the narrative campaigns (like the recent Fate of Konor), which you don't often see.

The narrator describes what's happening in a shade more detail than the others, which makes these videos the best to paint by. As a bonus, there is a great deal of laconic Tyneside comments going on (it’s always entertaining to hear “Ah cannut beleef it!” when triple 1s are rolled).


StrikingScorpion82

Another solo gamer – although his brother seems to be a recurring antagonist.

Entertaining battles and he’s not afraid to use his extensive collection in Apocalypse-scale games (it’s quite a sight to have a billion genestealers swarm over a Reaver Titan).




Tabletop Tactics

These seems the most ‘professional’ of the outfits (they have merchandise and an additional paid channel) and features a whole crew of players who mostly go by their nicknames (what kind of losers would do that, eh Kraken? Lefoa? Kasfunatu?).

There’s a host of studio armies, and having an income stream means than more are being continually pumped out. The production values are top-notch, the banter is excellent and the games incline towards the tournament-level, so you get to see harder armies.



Those are my picks. Each channel releases around one free battle report a week, so there’s a good output there. I notice that these are all UK channels – I did shop around (I won’t name and shame), but the other ones didn’t quite cut the mustard.

Happy viewing!

Prime Time

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Went and squeezed a quick command squad into my Nurgle themed January, didn't I.

The lists I'm fielding for next month's 'Boot are very nearly done, but each of them have five models or so that weren't painted. Hobby bully that I am, I'm insisting on fully-painted WYSIWYG (or as near as possible, anyway), so I'd better set a good example!


Four specialist squaddies for the Tempestus Scions, then, who can either give weapon options to existing squads or be fielded as a Command Squad in their own right.


I don't really like their banner, so I eschewed that for a medic. Who also has a Vox pack, so I can already laugh in the face of my own WYSISWYGgery and claim he's got one or the other. Bah - I need to paint his monocle cable, I now spot. Never a dull moment, honestly.


The plasma gun option in the kit is monopose, hefting his gun in one arm and pointing. Well, I've already done that one! So a bit of clipping swapped out a Volley Gun for a Plasma Gun. The only spare bit I had was a little... chaotic? But I'm sure the Commissar won't mind. Gets Hot will probably save him an execution shot.


Finally, the Tempestus Prime in person. Awesome greatcoat, makes me kind of want to run out and buy one.


The head is from the Frostgrave Barbarian kit, a suitably grouchy-looking hipster. Command Rod option in hand, which slightly looks like he's recording voxpops for a local news channel.

"Major Optimo, Grimdark Daily. Where do you see the Death Guard in a year's time?"
Painting Guide:


  • Same as last time except for the 
  • Greatcoat - Basecoat Corax White, Nuln Oil, Rakarth Flesh, Seraphim Sepia, Pallid Wych Flesh highlights
  • Gold Trim - Balthasar Gold, Auric Armour Gold highlights, the odd dab of Stormhost Silver



That's the Tempestus army fully prepped for battle now. Death Guard and Tyranids still to come!


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